Surrender

There’s that point in so many movies where someone is engulfed in a body of water, and they thrash, or they are buffeted, or they are dragged. Whatever comes, they sink and then somehow it’s impossible to tell which way is up or down, sideways, gravity is lost, as is buoyancy.

And that is the moment where you see the body go slack, accepting fate.

Then usually someone’s arm comes on screen and they are pulled out. But…basically go back a second.

Yes, that’s the peaceful, scornful, worn moment I’m in.

I felt like I was going down a whirlpool, and then it closed in. I started my fieldwork - fr fr fr this time. and my immune system has something to say about staying out late and singing karaoke loudly for an hour…

There is always so much to learn from water. I am still enamored of the flowing water never rots phrase. It reminds me of the purification rituals.

I wish I could flush my sinuses out fully in one go!

I’m considering the theory of water as ways to integrate relational strategies into my life and ethics.

I was looking over my class notes from 2023 and found my teaching statement and manifesto, and these were truly joyful to encounter due to the stabilizing forces of recognition I found.

When you look in a mirror and see yourself, I imagine that can be similar (though, of course I have a thing with mirrors…)

Reading my writing and thinking “yeah, that’s true” is validating. So, reminding myself both that I am inherently valid, and that if I feel like I need some encouragement I can look to myself — these are comforts as well.

I have been working with collage serieses lately (what is a series of series?) series’ perhaps? Hmmm. I liked the parts work, and felt it also encouraged some dedication. So, the next series!

Zodiac animals. But, perhaps I shall wait until after I talk to the Saju reader next month. I’m excited to connect with my ancestral divination method in an embodied space!

It’s been a host of floods and droughts here emotionally, with several hugs last weekend that bittersweetly gave me some human comfort. I definitely ache with those across the world from here struggling in their struggles. And, knowing I’m doing a good job of being present here as well, I surrender.